Wednesday, February 2, 2011

"One Shot Wednesday"

Over at "One Stop Poetry," there's this little thing going on called "One Shot Wednesday. It's a way to share your own poetry and enjoy others' original work as well. All you have to do is post an original poem on your blogsite, and link back to One Shot Wednesday in the post. Add your name to the Mr. Linky list (which you'll find on their site) and then have fun reading through the collection of poetry.

My poem is a little depressing, but I decided to post it, because it's one of the few maybe-successful (and rarer, still--rhyming) sonnets I've written. Here 'tis:

Lila

Lila hangs laundry outside on the line.
She smoothes out the creases, turns the collars down.
She watches the breeze fill out the skirts
And the busts of her blouses. She frowns.

Lila stands awkward before the mirror.
She plucks a grey hair from her young, dark locks.
She tightens the sash tied ‘round her waist,
Pinches some pink into her cheeks. She checks the clock.

Lila’s mother stands by, at the door.
She’s been in the kitchen, and her apron is stained.
‘Eat a few bites, Lila.’ Her brow is furrowed.
Her daughter’s features are drawn and strained.

But Lila is slight, fast; she doesn’t need much.
She leaves the house without her lunch.




Post your own poems and link them to One Shot Wednesday! Or just check out the links to other writers' and poets' sites. 

11 comments:

  1. I don’t feel this depressing in any manner of the term; rather a wonderful write, which allowed me to picture every line. Not always an easy accomplishment, as many attempt to do what you have just done. Nice One Shot! Cheers, David

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  2. Agree with David——didn't find this one depressing. Thought it was a very well done portrait in sonnet form. Cheers

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  3. i guess it all depends on what is picked up...is she so concerned over how she looks that she does not eat and where will that lead...great write though...

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  4. Thanks for the input, guys! I appreciate it!

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  5. Perhaps not so much depressing as a bit haunting, I got the impression of a young girl living in a daze, like trying to walk underwater. Waiting, perhaps, for something to happen.

    I might give this One Shot business a try when it comes around again, thanks for the info!

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  6. Good portrait of a "lady." Only mildly depressing when you open it up and consider the situation beyond the poem. Nice juxtaposition of the images of inflated clothes and her own scant form.

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  7. I love it! A beautiful poem! I can imagine it while I read.

    Come enter my Etsy GC giveaway this week please! You'll love Violet Bella Etsy shops!

    http://ladaisi.blogspot.com/2011/02/etsy-giveaway.html

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  8. Thanks Lauren! I was rather self-conscious about posting this poem, but it seems to have had a good reception.

    I will definitely check out that giveaway!

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  9. i sensed the depression only by reading it the second time..good write

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  10. Fun, in a predictable rhyme way. (I'm guessing that was your intention, so. . . solid work.)

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