Monday, April 29, 2013

Mommy Therapy

So if you know me at all, even if it's just through Facebook or another social media outlet, you know I like to craft. I like to make stuff. I'm pretty obsessive about whole DIY movement, and I don't see myself dropping that anytime soon. It gets me all giddy that I can buy a few cheap materials--especially materials for baby care and baby miscellany - and create the thing I have need or want of, for a mere fraction of what I might drop if I were to purchase from a name brand.

Some people find me odd; sometimes (it seems to me) irritatingly so. This makes me sad and brings up a thing I've noticed about people--especially mothers.  

People in general--and, like I said, mothers especially--are approval whores. I'm one, too, so I totally get it. But sewing a garment for my son or blending my own baby food, or putting cotton pre-fold diapers  on my baby somehow seems to make people think I'm trying too hard or worse--trying to show people up. I don't really get it, honestly. I've received a lot of comments like "Wow, stop making us look bad *wink wink,*" but in such proliferation that I suspect they really mean "seriously, lady. Cut it out." What I don't think people realize, is that I do the things I do for ME. The choices I make for my household work for our household and I'm absolutely NOT campaigning for the reform of any or all other methods. But ya know, a lot of moms do take it upon themselves to preach, so I guess I take it back-- I do get it.

Recently I visited CafeMom, a forum described as "the largest and most vibrant meeting place for moms online," (*chortle*) with a child behavior/parenting question which I'll keep privy for now; my experience was disappointing, to say the least. Not two posts into the discussion, moms were being conniving bitches to each other over  the most trivial of parenting details. Motherhood brings out the worst in people, sometimes. Again, I think it's because we're all secretly afraid we're screwing up our kids (Duh. We are), but we're even more afraid that somebody will notice that we're screwing them up. Sadly, this translates into major attitude problems for some. Judgement. Condescension. Passive aggression. The gamut.

This, ladies, is what we need to cut out. Because, hello--! the kiddos pick that shit up fast. And then congrats-- disfunction by osmosis! 

I'm a crazy, crafty, co-sleeping, breastfeeding, baby food mixing, cloth diapering mom. I'm proud of these things, but not prejudiced. You other moms out there are all probably just as "crazy," but I know you've got your own unique list of attributes on the list and whatever they happen to be is good by me! I'm not here to show anybody up or make anybody feel bad for the formula in their cupboard or the pampers on their changing table. If we'd all stop trying to mask our own perceived shortcomings by pointing out shortcoming we perceive in others, us moms might actually have a "vibrant meeting place" that is so necessary for our sanity.

COMMENT! Tell me what works--or doesn't work--for your family! What's on your list of mommy attributes?

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